Divorce & separation

• Boss, P. (1999). Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief. Harvard University Press. The foundational work on grief that doesn’t fit a clean before-and-after loss – the main source behind this page’s framing that relief and grief for the same ending can arrive together, rather than cancelling each other out.
• Doka, K.J. (1989). Disenfranchised Grief: Recognizing Hidden Sorrows. Lexington Books. Names divorce specifically as a loss that’s routinely under-recognised because it’s assumed to be chosen – the source behind this page’s point that the grief gets waved away.
• Vaughan, D. (1986). Uncoupling: Turning Points in Intimate Relationships. Oxford University Press. A classic sociological study of how couples come apart and rebuild a separate sense of self – the source behind this page’s point that identity takes the hit too, since so much of adult identity is built jointly.
• Amato, P.R. (2000). “The Consequences of Divorce for Adults and Children.” Journal of Marriage and Family, 62(4), 1269-1287. A wide-ranging review of divorce’s practical and emotional aftermath – the source behind this page’s point that the legal and logistical unwinding tends to drag on well past the emotional decision.