References: Coping with grief & loss

The key studies and reviews behind these pages – organised by topic, so you can see exactly what each claim on the site is based on.

Losing a parent

  • Doka, K.J. (1989). Disenfranchised Grief: Recognizing Hidden Sorrows. Lexington Books. The foundational text naming why “expected” losses like a parent’s death often receive less social recognition and support than sudden or out-of-order losses – the source behind this page’s point that the on-time loss carries its own, often unacknowledged, weight.
  • Umberson, D. (2003). Death of a Parent: Transition to a New Adult Identity. Cambridge University Press. A full-length study of the identity shift adult children go through after losing a parent – the main source behind this page’s framing of the parent-child bond as an asymmetric relationship, not a peer one, and the loss as identity-shaping rather than purely emotional.
  • Scharlach, A.E. & Fredriksen, K.I. (1993). “Reactions to the death of a parent during midlife.” Omega: Journal of Death and Dying, 27(4), 307-319. Documents the shifts in autonomy, responsibility and family role that follow a parent’s death in midlife – the source behind this page’s note on moving up a generation.
  • Scharlach, A.E. (1991). “Factors associated with filial grief following the death of an elderly parent.” American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 61(2), 307-313. Identifies the quality of the parent-child relationship as a key factor shaping grief intensity – the source behind this page’s point that a complicated relationship can bring relief, guilt and sorrow at once.

Grief that comes in waves

  • Maciejewski, P.K., Zhang, B., Block, S.D., & Prigerson, H.G. (2007). “An Empirical Examination of the Stage Theory of Grief.” JAMA, 297(7), 716–723. The only large-scale empirical test of the popular five-stage model – found a genuine mismatch with the common version (acceptance was the most frequent response from the very start, not a late endpoint) – the source behind this page’s point that grief doesn’t reliably move in one clean direction.
  • Stroebe, M.S. & Schut, H. (1999). “The Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement: Rationale and Description.” Death Studies, 23(3), 197–224. Proposes that healthy grieving oscillates between confronting the loss and setting it aside for a while, rather than working through it once in a straight line – the source behind this page’s central framing of grief as something that comes and goes.
  • Rando, T.A. (1993). Treatment of Complicated Mourning. Research Press. Coined the term Subsequent Temporary Upsurge of Grief (STUG) for the sudden, unpredictable return of acute grief long after a loss feels settled – the source behind this page’s point that triggers are often small and impossible to foresee.
  • Kübler-Ross, E. & Kessler, D. (2005). On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss. Scribner. Kübler-Ross’s own follow-up to her original stage model, written in part to clarify that the stages were never meant to be a fixed, linear sequence – the source behind this page’s reference to the stage-based model and how widely it’s been misread.

Grieving what hasn’t ended

  • Boss, P. (1999). Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief. Harvard University Press. The foundational text naming this experience and distinguishing it from grief following a clear loss – the source behind this page’s central framing and terminology.
  • Boss, P. (2004). “Ambiguous Loss Research, Theory, and Practice: Reflections After 9/11.” Journal of Marriage and Family, 66(3), 551–566. Extends the theory beyond dementia to physical absence without confirmation – missing persons, estrangement, and collective loss – the source behind this page’s point that the pattern isn’t limited to any one situation.
  • Blandin, K. & Pepin, R. (2017). “Dementia Grief: A Theoretical Model of a Unique Grief Experience.” Dementia, 16(1), 67–78. Documents the shift in terminology away from “anticipatory grief” toward this distinct pattern, since the loss is already being experienced rather than only awaited – the source behind this page’s distinction from anticipatory grief.

Anticipatory grief

  • Lindemann, E. (1944). “Symptomatology and Management of Acute Grief.” American Journal of Psychiatry, 101, 141–148. The paper that first named the concept, observing that wives of soldiers facing likely death began grieving before any confirmation arrived – the source behind this page’s central framing.
  • Singer, J., Roberts, K.E., McLean, E., Fadalla, C., Coats, T., Rogers, M., Wilson, M.K., Godwin, K. & Lichtenthal, W.G. (2022). “An Examination and Proposed Definitions of Family Members’ Grief Prior to the Death of Individuals with a Life-Limiting Illness: A Systematic Review.” Palliative Medicine. Reviewed 134 studies and found more than 18 terms and 30 distinct definitions in use – the source behind this page’s point that even researchers haven’t settled on a single description.
  • Fulton, R. (2003). “Anticipatory Mourning: A Critique of the Concept.” Mortality, 8(4), 342–351. Challenges the assumption that grieving in advance reliably eases grief after a death – the source behind this page’s point that it doesn’t come with that guarantee.
  • Rando, T.A. (2000). “Anticipatory Mourning: A Review and Critique of the Literature.” In Clinical Dimensions of Anticipatory Mourning. Research Press. A competing framework situating this grief in the present, over losses already occurring during an illness, rather than purely focused on the future loss – the source behind this page’s point that the grief responds to what’s happening now, not only what’s coming.

A friendship ending

  • Doka, K.J. (1989). Disenfranchised Grief: Recognizing Hidden Sorrow. Lexington Books. The book that coined the term, explicitly naming the end of a friendship, alongside divorce and job loss, as a form of grief not readily recognised or supported by society – the source behind this page’s central framing.
  • Rose, S.M. (1984). “How Friendships End: Patterns Among Young Adults.” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 1(3), 267–277. Found the most common patterns of friendship dissolution were physical separation and gradually replacing old friends with new ones, rather than a single decisive conversation – the source behind this page’s point that most friendships end quietly, not dramatically.
  • Wrzus, C., Hänel, M., Wagner, J. & Neyer, F.J. (2013). “Social Network Changes and Life Events Across the Life Span: A Meta-Analysis.” Psychological Bulletin, 139(1), 53–80. Found friend networks reliably shrink around major life transitions such as moving, parenthood, and career change – the source behind this page’s point that adult friend networks are already smaller than they feel.
  • Boss, P. (1999). Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief. Harvard University Press. Developed the concept of grief without a clear moment of closure or resolution – the source behind this page’s point that the lack of a defined ending is often the hardest part of losing a friend.