You’ve been offered a job, trusted with a project or praised for your work, but privately you wonder whether people have overestimated you. You may worry that sooner or later you’ll make a mistake that reveals you don’t belong.
This is often called imposter syndrome. You might put a good result down to luck or help from others, while treating a setback as evidence that you weren’t capable in the first place.
Feeling unsure of yourself doesn’t, by itself, tell you how well you’re doing. It can help to look at specific feedback and what the role requires, rather than treating the feeling as a verdict.
A new role may involve things you genuinely need to learn. Expectations may be unclear, or support may be missing. You can acknowledge those difficulties without concluding that you’ve misled everyone about your abilities.
A few things to keep in mind…
- A feeling of being a fraud isn’t evidence that you are one. Try to identify the concern: is there a skill you need to learn, feedback you need to act on or a fear that hasn’t been supported by what’s happened?
- Needing help doesn’t cancel out your abilities. You can be suited to a role and still need training, advice or time to learn. Asking a question is part of doing the work, rather than an admission that you shouldn’t be there.
- Give your contribution a fair share of the credit. Luck and other people’s help may have played a part in a good result. So may your preparation, judgement and effort. You don’t have to dismiss either side.
- Check what’s expected before doing more. If you keep revising work or preparing for every possible question, ask what a satisfactory result looks like. A clear brief or deadline can help you decide when the task is finished.
- The setting matters too. Unclear expectations, dismissive feedback or exclusion can make it harder to feel secure. Consider what support or changes you need from other people, as well as how you respond to your own doubts.
When reassurance doesn’t quite register
You may receive good feedback and immediately find a reason to discount it: the task was easy, the person was being kind or they didn’t notice what you got wrong. Meanwhile, one correction may stay with you for days.
Try to notice whether you’re applying the same standard to praise and criticism. Both can contain useful information; neither has to become a judgement of your whole ability.
There may be genuine gaps in your knowledge, especially in a new role. A specific gap gives you something to work on. “I need help using this system” is a different problem from “I’ve fooled everyone into thinking I can do this job.”
Things that may help
Ask for specific feedback. Instead of “Am I doing all right?”, ask what you’re doing well, what needs improving and what’s expected next. A regular conversation with a manager, tutor or mentor can be more useful than repeatedly seeking reassurance after each task.
Keep a brief record of your work. Note what you completed, what you contributed and any relevant feedback. Include things you’re learning, too. The aim is a fair account you can return to, rather than a collection of praise you have to keep topping up.
For example: “I prepared the report, checked the figures and delivered it on time. My manager found the summary useful and asked for more detail in one section.” Both parts belong in the picture.
Make a plan for what you don’t yet know. Identify a training session, a person to ask or a task you can practise with support. You don’t need to hide every uncertainty, but you do need appropriate help for responsibilities beyond your current experience.
Agree a stopping point for preparation. Use the brief, deadline and any checks the task requires to decide when it’s ready. If you’re unsure, ask someone experienced what level of detail is needed rather than adding more work just in case.
Talk to someone you trust. A colleague or mentor may help you put an experience in context or explain expectations that haven’t been made clear. You can choose what to share; you don’t have to announce your doubts to everyone.
Taking the next step
When an opportunity comes up, consider what it asks of you, what experience you bring and what support is available. You may be able to accept while acknowledging that there will be things to learn.
You don’t have to wait for complete confidence. Equally, you can ask for training, clearer responsibilities or more support before taking something on.
If these worries are affecting your sleep, making you avoid opportunities or leaving you persistently anxious, speak to your GP. NHS Talking Therapies may help with anxiety or depression; in England, you can refer yourself without going through your GP. If you need urgent mental health support, the Support directory has crisis contacts.
Recommended reading
If you’d like to read more about imposter feelings, these books offer examples and practical suggestions for responding to self-doubt.
Clinical psychologist Jessamy Hibberd’s The Imposter Cure looks at the thoughts and habits that can accompany feeling like a fraud. It includes case studies and exercises, and may interest you if doubt is leading you to overwork or avoid opportunities.
Valerie Young’s The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women explores beliefs about competence and success. Young offers a framework for noticing expectations such as needing to know everything or manage without help. These are ways to reflect on your standards, rather than categories you need to fit into.